You're my little dorito
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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