jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
May the power of my ass compel you!!
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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