I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
