And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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