booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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