i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
