I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
