GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize