I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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