I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
