Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
