My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
