Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
