I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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