my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i would punch a child for taco bell
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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