Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize