Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
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