of course. lets lasso hookers.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
