she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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