You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
