We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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