my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
