my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
