My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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