3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
