Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
