Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
