So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
