i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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