That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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