He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm like, not good at living.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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