You smell like stripper and shame
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
