If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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