im gay
i know
yea but for you.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
