just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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