Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize