I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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