I don't think brook has ever known best
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
