so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
This is classic penis vs brain.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
