My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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