Pants 0. Shit 1.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
