Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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