Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
