Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
She has the best kind of daddy issues
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
