one word: firstdatebathroomanal
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Randomize
