Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
