Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
