you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
