Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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