Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize