oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
