Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
