And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
