so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
