Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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