He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
