alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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