i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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