is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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