6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
