Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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