His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
