I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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