Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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